Outted

Cycle number: 10

Cycle day: 25

Meds: Met + supps

Outlook: Lonely

Now, I am not one to post a lot in open forums on the internet - it's part of the reason I have this (anonymous) blog. I lurk on message boards and am a people-watcher on Facebook, rarely posting status updates etc, but due to the PETA campaign besmirching NIAW I felt compelled to say something. So I posted a link to the petition against the PETA campaign which for me felt like quite a bold move, since hardly anyone on there knows that we are ttc, much less about my pcos and treatment etc (not that the post explicitely stated anything about our situation, but I would assume many people made the connection).

It generated rather a lot of comments - 42 to be precise! And I just thought for the benefit of the ttc and/or infertility community I would share some of these gems of "wisdom":

• "Tbh I could get right behind that. The world is overpopulated as it is"
•  "If you're infertile, it's nature telling you you're not meant to breed. Breeding is selfish as it is"
• "The great thing about being human is that we can *choose* not to do things that are detrimental to ourselves and our environment, unfortunately it seems that, due to these detrimental effects not being visible immediately (we are after all used to getting what we want at the touch of a button these days); the fact that they are unlikely to cause the adults that are alive now too much hardship and also the inherent 'drive to reproduce' that is present in all of us; the lack of education about the overpopulation of the planet and the problems that this is causing NOW; the unlikeliness that many people are prepared to make themselves and their entire family 'cease to exist' (not to mention the other factors that come into play regarding murder and suicide), it doesnt seem likely that many people in our western society are prepared to do anything to reduce the harm we are causing our species let alone try to suggest that you don't necesarily *have* to have children."
• "It's more the selfishness side of bringing kids into a world that's in this state that I have a problem with. Personally, if I could have chosen to not be born, and not to live in this world and be contributing towards it's downfall, ...then I would have checked the 'opt out' button. The fact that I also happen to be unable to have kids in my view is a positive. I understand people still feel the need to bring more lives into this world, but what with fuel prices rises, diseases, social collapse, political turmoil, price of living, etc.etc. I don't see why they'd want to inflict such an uncertain future on their offspring. I can choose not to breed, and nature can choose to tell you not to breed, but unfortunately we can't choose to have not been born."
• "Personally, I'd like to see those unable to conceive take nature's sign that they're not meant to, and for adoption of unwanted churned out kids to be made much easier."
• "If it's something easily solved with a quick procedure then fair play, but couples who put themselves through round after round of IVF treatment, endless miscarriages, or surgery on themselves in order to have a baby, sometimes I do just wonder why they don't take nature's hint and maybe accept it's not for them, it's not right" 

You can bet I responded to each and every one. I think it goes to show just how necessary something like NIAW is, because there are so many people out there who just don't understand what infertility is, what it means, how it affects people. The second quote up there, she seems to think that "infertility" is the same as "being infertile". As usual, adoption was rolled out as the solution for every infertile. The majority of the comments droned on about "overpopulation" etc without a thought as to the point of my original post - that those suffering through infertility would be hurt by it.  In one of my replies, I tried to explain that these kind of statements could be really hurtful to someone going through infertility, and that because there is a certain "stigma" attached to it, the hurter might not even know....so basically that it pays to bite your tongue about certain issues unless you know who you are talking to properly.

But by far the worst comment is one I haven't posted above in which the commenter stated that they were "surprised that an intelligent person" like me would hold such opinions. As if I'm somehow ruled only by my base instincts if I am in anyway pro-reproduction. That if I had a brain I would surely see that being staunchly anti-babies, anti-breeding, anti-hope is the only way to go. It was an awakening as to exactly the kind of people I know. Needless to say, they won't be getting a wedding invite...