Sunshine on a Rainy Day

Cycle number: 11

Cycle day: 25

Meds: Met

Outlook: TGIF

I believe I have ovulated. The problem is I don't know when. I've been having uterus twinges - occasionally verging on cramps - for a week now, which is a sure sign. And although my nipples were sensitive anyway because of the Meno.pur, this whole week my boobs have been very sore, feeling heavier and tender, and I noticed some blue veins appearing.

Of course, this got me very excited, and I have been looking at them every night to see if I can see anything else. It could always just be a coincidence, or it could be that the Meno.pur effects are still going strong, but I have a tiny shred of hope.

I had promised myself I would not do a pregnancy test until next Tuesday, but I caved in today and did one - very negative. I still feel hopeful though as potentially I'm only 7 or 8 days past ovulation and there is still time. I'll have to wait now as I've completely run out of preggo tests - need to order some in a moment.

If I did ovulate, the next question is how many popped? There were 4, possibly 5 ripe follies. This has me both very excited and slightly concerned. On the one hand, that many options has got to mean that my chances of conception are higher. On the other, 4 children in one go would be quite a challenge. But like I keep telling people who say "Omg FOUR?!?!", I would rather have four in one go than none at all.

I realise I am probably grasping at straws thinking something will come of this cycle, but it's my way of coping with the fact that otherwise I'm out til July. A little self delusion can go a long way.

After expressing my dismay at this cycle being cancelled in a text to my MIL-2B, she replied "Don't worry about it, I'm sure you have enough to think about, what with the wedding...". I do wish people would stop saying that. Yes the wedding is a big day, and there has been a fair bit of organising, but the world doesn't stop because of it. It doesn't detract in any way from what I feel about wanting to get pregnant. If I'm still able to think about work and shopping and all those other mundane things, I'm sure as hell still able to think about ttc. Wedding organising is not a distraction from something that is the most important thing to me. Besides which, pretty much everything is done now, so if anything I have LESS distracting me than before.

Finally a TWW

Cycle number: 9

Cycle day: 31 - 11dpo

Meds: Met

Outlook: Hopeful

The Death Star was still there at 3 days past trigger, so was officially considered a cyst at around 4cm diameter. I can assure you I didn't need the ultrasound to prove it was there, the sucker was VERY uncomfortable until Monday really, but has definitely shrunk in the last few days. No more running to the toilet every 10 minutes because of the pressure on my bladder - bonus!

I went for a blood test on Monday morning to find out if I ovulated. I got the result today and OMG yes, I did! My progesterone level was 34.5 at 9 dpo which is pretty good all things considered. So I assume either the follicle on the right matured quickly and then released an egg, or the Death Star was so huge it was blocking another mature follicle on the left.

So I am approaching the end of the two week wait. Annoyingly, I still can't crack out the pregnancy tests because I had the trigger shot at 2 dpo and it will likely still show up in my system. However, I have Friday off work, and by that point will be 13 dpo/11dpt, so I'm going to allow myself a little test then.

Of course I've been scrutinising my symptoms to within an inch of their lives. My boobs are definitely pretty tender and nipples ouchily sensitive. I've had some minor cramping in the uterus area, and some stretchy feelings, but I've had all that before in previous ovulatory cycles so I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. I have been crazily tired, but that could just be the chronic fatigue. And I've had a monster appetite the last few days.

I can't believe what a roller-coaster this cycle has been - going from no hope at all to actually quite a bit of hope multiple times over and over. I'm hoping I don't have to go another round with Clo.mid, it doesn't seem to be particularly compatible with me. It would just be amazing if it worked this time.